Every day, anyway

Early on, she started out telling me

I quickly learned to do as I was told.
She STILL spanks me every day.

Just because that leads into punishment

Some spankings are 'just because' and some lead into something much more painful

Sex on HER terms

Having sex was ONLY when she wanted it, when she asked for it. 
I got in trouble if I suggested it.
One time at bedtime I was sporting a boner in my briefs...
She didn't like it and took care of it.

Instead of 'relief', I went to bed with a very sore bottom.

In the corner, before and after

Another 'fun' (for her) thing she likes to do is have me strip and stand in a corner or against a wall until she is ready to beat my bottom.

I'm usually there for a least fifteen minutes, and up to an hour, 
Then after whatever discipline she has chosen to administer, she sends me back to the corner to stand a while longer.

Waiting and ... waiting

I've learned that sometimes, WAITING for a spanking can be worse ... will almost as bad ... as the spanking itself.

On more than one occasion, she has told me to strip and get into a position like this 

and then left me there, waiting, for upwards of an hour, while she went about doing other things.
Then when she finally did come to me

and I figured out that the discipline did seem to be worse than the waiting.

Told to strip and bemd over

Without virtually no exception, a daily occurrence...

She tells me to STRIP ... and then BEND OVER or some variation on the exact position and 

all I could do was grunt and moan, and ofttimes, sob.

a demonstration with a carpet beater.

Another time she was giving a demonstration.
First she had me take a shower.
Without allowing me to dry off, she spanked my bottom, and had me stand in the corner and wait for her guests' arrival.

After they arrived, she had me get on the floor, FDAU, and she talked 

Then she began, straddling my torso

After 40 swats that had me yelping and moaning, she said, "Lay down..."
and she continued talking

Then she said to me, "back in position" and she continued

and she paused to talk to her guests

Then she straddled me again, and said, "Spread your legs apart..."
and she continued

and I sobbed and cried while she swatted my bottom ...
Then she stopped, and said, "Do not get up until I tell you."

And after a few minutes, she said, "Get up and go stand against the wall, hands on your head."

A lesson in getting his attention

Sometimes she would have younger women over, just to give them lessons on controlling their boy friends: 

Is this consensual?

When I was able to catch my breath and think about it, during my many days and nights of getting my ass beaten, the thoughts came to me:
 was this ... (our dynamic) ... (her, spanking my bottom whenever she fuckin' wanted) ... was this consensual?

Was she doing something that was against my consent, against my will?
Is physical punishment a dynamic that morally or logically should be utilized between adults?
When adults, married couples, have their differences, shouldn't they be able to talk them through, or sometimes simply agree to disagree on some issue, and move on?

I remembered signing an FLR-DD agreement before we married.
Yet I knew, and I know, it's not 'enforceable' by any law.
However, her agreement to marry me was contingent on my agreement to the terms of the 'contract'.
So, if I "declined" to abide by any of the demands she put upon me, if I did not show myself as ready and willing to accept discipline from her on her terms, would that be some kind of breach of contract, and give her reason to seek a separation or divorce?

And so, did I love her so much, that I submitted to her discipline JUST so she wouldn't split up with me?

Eventually, I figured out my answers.

No, I did not love her THAT much.  

I simply, on some level, shallow or deep, enjoy the control she holds over me. 
The spankings she gives me HURT LIKE HELL, no doubt about it.
But, I actually enjoy the feelings of dread and trepidation that I feel in the pit of my stomach, prior to the beginning of a disciplinary session.
I enjoy the emotional release I feel as the spankings go on and on and on and on...
I enjoy the afterburn or afterglow in my bottom, once it's over.
I enjoy the lovemaking that occurs on a very regular basis, almost as often as the spankings, seemingly as a direct result of the arousal she gets from spanking me and the arousal I get from being spanked.

I came to accept the idea that:
 Many times, a voice inside me says, "But I don't wanna be spanked!"
 Then another voice pipes up, "Oh yes I do!"

So,  I guess ... that does make the whole dynamic ... consensual.

Tied down to a trestle and caned

We acquired a spanking trestle.
Perfect for having me bend over it, and strapping me down.
I cannot say I had good times when I was bent over it.

Having a bad time on a bench

Some sessions were just SO MUCH more painful than others.
One time she had me lay flat on a table, restrained my wrists, put a rope over my waist so I wouldn't jump up and 

Her belief on a successful marriage

She was determined to have a successful marriage with me.

For example 

I tried asking for a spanking

"Just a little bit longer" she said.  

Ha!

How she achieves my submission

She always tries!

This time it worked...

60 seconds to strip

One time, with friends visiting,  she called me into the living room.

a naughty boy again

MANY TIMES, out of the blue she says